turn twenty

no! i turn twenty! yeah.i am twenty.i am a big girl.not kids anymore. no more childish ok! :D

so many trials and obstacle come this year.this semester.and that’s how life rolls. i try to motivate myself. keep patience. waiting and searching for the true happiness. i try to renew my intention every day n keep myself positive! However. at one time. i will stop and thinking. im so scared that happiness will drift me away from remembering HIM. Because only when im in this hard situations I learnt many things. It built me to be stronger...

Study? I didn’t do well on my study last sem. Result jatuh merudum.ohmooo.. but Alhamdulillah.my CGPA  still above 3. N as usual. I will receive my result with feelingless feeling.. some people asking me whether im okay or not.. i am ok! don’t worry.:)  (you know. i just have this ability to not show my feelings outside.so most of the time,i’ll just look expressionless.hehe) mariam kan kuat!  :p   eventhough,i didn’t do well this sem. i know i had try all my best. struggle to give the best that i can.this won’t pull me down. maybe it made me upset for 1 whole day but i’ll definitely get up on the very next day.. i will never give up! i will keep tring. i will keep telling myself that I can. i must be strong!  i must! Architecture had taught me lots of things. Not only just doing design. But also the meaning of ‘real life’. i learnt so many things. Learn the meaning of patience. Learn how to survive. Learn how to communicate with others. Learn to be reject ( teach me the concept of usaha n tawakal) .and i was so grateful of all the pain and hard times that i felt. alhamdulillah... you know... there's anything is possible when u're a small child. u will make actions out of belief.. but as we grow older. there's some of things that scare us and make us fear to go through it. i wish that i was like a small child. can see whatever happen as an adventure for me. and enjoy it. 

i did some flashback of the old mariam. all praised to HIM. for HIS guidance.. its really hard to be in this field of architecture. i always thinking. and always keep asking myself why. i try to clarify myself. i try to be in the brightside of myself. and keep myself positive. and only in this ‘hard situation’ i realized i had changed a lot... architecture had turn my perspective of life. So many things happened in past few years. This hard situation really change me. renew the muslim in me and makes me feel very lucky to be in this course... which is something that I had never think. i will keep change myself step by step to be a better muslimah.. insyaAllah. I will try to purify my heart.. try to accept my weakness and learn from it at the same time try to be grateful to Allah for what He gives me..

someone said, if you keep on changing and changing will you lose yourself in the process and u will become someone else. but NO. for me i think. by keep changing u will find ur own self at the same time, it will shape yourself to be better better than before! kan? ^^ i thank Allah for each person that came into my life. for the sad and hepy moments that they brought into my life. and i know everything that's happened and going to happen in the future. will be for the best now and soon...insyaAllah :) 

*thanks Allah for sending 'them' in my life. they inspire me to be better muslimah n better person. may us stay along together in the right path. hopefully we were strong to face all the obstacle that will come. i love both of u for the sake of Allah*
TERUSKAN MELANGKAH!

ramadan is already 2/3 gone! i dont know why this rmadhan i feel so sad wif myself...only Allah knows why  =__= may Allah gives us what is right and best for us. may this be a month of forgiveness. answers. acceptance, and everything we need..ameen! hopefully. this Ramadan will be a turning point... a new beginning for us to be better. a better Muslim in us insyaAllah.. 

~If u wish for a life without pain. Then you will never see the beauty of a rainbow after the rain~

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✿Barakallaahu fiykum wa jazzakumullah khoir✿

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aku ingin kita berpimpin tangan ke SYURGA~ *_*

Teman,

jatuh la kamu seteruk mana pun,

insyaAllah, tangan juga akan kuhulur.

menangis la kamu sepuas mana pun,

insyaAllah, bahu juga akan ku berikan...

Teman..

kau adalah anugerah yang Allah beri kepadaku,

mustahil sekadar dilempar begitu..

kalau dia tiba-tiba menyimpang,

aku ingin menghulurkan tangan dan tidak berjauhan,

kalau aku adalah yang tersungkur,

aku akan segera bangkit agar dia tidak kususahkan.

sebab dia adalah sahabat,

dan aku tahu sahabatku adalah manusia,

maka aku hormati kekurangan yang ada,

hanya iman yang mampu melestari hubungan ini,

mengekstensi hingga ke syurga nanti.

sebab dia adalah sahabat,

mustahil aku mahu berada di syurga tanpa dia di sisi.... 

"Dan (ingatlah) ketika suatu umat di antara mereka berkata, : "Mengapa kamu menasihati kaum yang akan dibinasakan dan diazab Allah dengan azab yang sangat keras?". Mereka menjawab, "Agar kami mempunyai alasan (lepas tanggungjawab) kepada Tuhanmu, dan agar mereka bertakwa." ~surah Al-a'raf, ayat 164~

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jika ada dikalangan kita yg melakukan pebuatan tidak baek, tetapi kita tidak menegur, atau tidak berusaha menolong dia, suatu hari kelak akan ditanya Allah, "kenapa kamu membiarkan kawanmu terus berbuat dosa? sedangkan kamu berada dikalangan mereka...."  

Allahurabbi.rasa tersentap seketika. maafkan daku sahabat. masih tidak mampu menjadi sahabat yang baik buat kalian. sungguh aku masih lemah. cuma mendoakan kalian dalam diam... sesi 'luahan rasa' petang itu banyak menyedarkan aku. mungkin langkahku agak lambat. mungkin aku terlalu memikirkan kata2 org sekeliling. sehinggakan aku lupa tanggungjawabku...aku akan cuba memperbaiki diri untuk kalian. bukan sahaja kerana kalian. tapi aku ingin kita bersama2 bergandingan tangan ke syurgaNya.lillahitaala... aku sayang kalian! rasa bersalah itu kian memuncak kebelakangan ini. tiada kata seindah bicara melainkan permohonan maaf yang tak pernah putus.maafkan aku.... =_=

smoga Allah permudahkan niat baek kita. fitrah insani itu inginkan kebaekan. jangan pernah memandang pada dirinya saat ini.tapi lihatlah pengakhirannya. mungkin dia lebih baek dari kita. jangan pernah putus asa dari rahmat dan hidayahNya!

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✿Barakallaahu fiykum wa jazzakumullah khoir✿

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Rabbi Yassir walaa Tua’ssir~

Ya Allah

Beban yang kugalas amat berat untuk ku bawa 

Berikan kekuatan untuk ku

Biar perjuangan ilmu kutempuh dengan redhaMu

Agar beban ini mengajar aku erti keikhlasan

dalam mengejar ilmu Mu

Jangan Kau jadikan kesibukan ini penyebab aku jauh dariMu

Jangan Kau jadikan airmata ini 

Penyebab aku berputus asa dari terus mencapai rahmatMu..

Menuntut ilmu kerana Mu

Agar beban ini terasa ringan

Agar hati ini terasa dibelai kasih Mu

Rabbi Yassir walaa Tua’ssir Ya karim~

kucing pon rajen bca buku.uhuk~

uhuh. final project kali nie sangat2la mencabar.. lctrer ckp takde nampak sape lagi yg bpotensi dapat A.. kbanyakan majoriti dapat c n fail.. ya Allah. Kau mudahkanlah semuanya.. jauhkan dari sikap putus asa.. sila kembali fokus... smbung wt keje! ganbate ne!!! 

off~

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✿Barakallaahu fiykum wa jazzakumullah khoir✿

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