.: pelangi kehidupan :.: inner strugles~ (i found the answer)

I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. ~the road not taken~

It is a pleasure me to have both of u. special gift for me that i cant put aside..

sometimes..i kept on asking myself “Why did i accept them in my life?”

yet...still i cant found the answer.
even myself felt so clueless what Allah want to show to me..

incidence by incidence happened till i cannot deny it anymore..
i don’t know why i cant letting both of u..

im trying for many times yet i just cant..

and its really hard for me to struggle alone inside... :'(

Even though I know this will be really hard for me..
this path not will be easy.i must be tough..
there are times i'm feeling like breaking down,

sometimes i'm losing myself, really, i’m really going down..

But still..i make decision to keep forward rather than quits..
and i dont know where i get that courages..

Because there one times i know what Allah had given to me

There must be something Allah want to show..

There must be something that Allah want me to learn..

I don’t want to give up without trying my best in what Allah had given to me..

I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes that i had done before..

Cause i trust what Allah had planned for me is always the best.
Allah.. pls remind me again the reason i take this 'road' if i forgot..

i want to tell u that im lucky to have u in my life..but im too afraid..im afraid to give my love. im afraid to show my love..im so tired of being dissapointed again n again..so..i prefer to not show it..i just want to be on the safe side.. = __= i know sometimes I prefer to silent rather than talk. i know sometimes im not so good on showing my emotion.my love. cause im grown up like this. i just need time to learn... i will be changing for better us in future. Insha Allah.. i just need my time.. :’(
u're always in my prayer. hoping that Allah will strengthen us..hoping that this thing is the best for us.. hoping that Allah will ease this path for us.. hoping that we will change for better than before.be better muslimah in future. insha Allah. Because i believe only dua' can change anything. Only dua' can change people’s heart...

i will try my best to stand always by your side.be a good friend for u.trying to know u better. trying to understand u. trying to be positive on whatever happend between us..forgive me for all my wrongdoing. for all my imperfection..thank you Allah for giving them. im feel very grateful for all that You give. for all the pain and hard that i felt through this. for all the differences between us. because those storms in my life made me to the person i am today. really teach me the lesson of life. i know the rainbow will come out soon. if not i know Allah will still be here for me and He always hear my prayer. if not now. maybe soon or later. He knows when is the right time :')

i really thank Allah for sending u in my life. thank u for being very supportive partner. sis and good friend for me.i will be stick together wuteva happen. we have differnt character. yet we share some similarities. n actually those differences makes me love u MORE! ^^ our differences really teach me. its remind me and help me to improve myself better. now i found the answer why Allah sending them in my life. thank you Allah! :) ♥

✿Barakallaahu fiykum wa jazzakumullah khoir✿

✿ ahlan wasahlan ✿

everyone has their own past.and the past is not to be judged. but to be learned.. i know being strong is not easy, but its the only choice i have thats what ALLAH wants me to do! randomly written part of my journey to be a better muslimah.hopefully in future. when i read my blog again. i will smile n say to myself. you did it dear! you did better better than before.. never stop moving forward! Allah is always with u! keep istiqomah! changing from bad to good is a long-term adventure, but it is wonderful! shine on and dont give up on what u have decided to do! :) ♥

✿ muhasabah cintaku ✿

Setiap manusia adalah arkitek kehidupannya sendiri. Dia membinanya seperti mana yang dikehendakinya namun selepas dia membina apa yang dikehendakinya, kadang kala dia mendapati bahawa dia tidak menyukai apa yang telah dibinanya dan mencari seseorang atau sesuatu untuk dipersalahkan daripada mencuba untuk menukar dirinya sendiri.... “Sometimes, Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul.sometimes, HE breaks our heart to make us whole.sometimes, HE allows pain so we can be stronger.sometimes, HE sends us failure so we can be humble.sometimes, Allah takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything HE gave us..make plans but understand that we live by Allah’s grace.” :) ♥ "Wanita yang solehah tersenyum dalam kesusahan, mendapat kekuatan melalui doa, menenangkan hati melalui istighfar, dan mendidik diri melalui solat yang khusyu'. Susah itu tarbiyyah, sabar itu indah..." Perempuan itu diciptakan dari tulang rusuk,sementara yg paling bngkok itu bahagian teratasnya. Jika engkau berkeras meluruskannya,ia akan patah. Ttp jika engkau membiarkannya,ia akan bengkok selamanya. Maka nasihatilah perempuan dengan cara yg baik! ♥ "Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang beriman ialah mereka yang bila disebut nama Allah gemetarlah hati mereka, dan apabila dibacakan ayat-ayatNya bertambahlah iman mereka (karenanya), dan hanya kepada Tuhanlah mereka bertawakkal." “Sesiapa yg merasa sng oleh amal kebaikannya, dan merasa sedih atau menyesal atas perbuatan dosanya, maka dia seorang Mukmin.“ (Riwayat al-Tabarani) “Sebahagian daripada tanda matinya hati, iaitu jika tidak berasa sedih kerana tertinggalnya suatu amalan kebaikan, juga tdk menyesal jika terbuat suatu pelanggaran dosa. “ Syeikh Ibn Ata’illah

✿motivation words ✿

We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.

and that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect.

It isn’t because you’re weak. It isn’t because you’re just not grateful enough. It isn’t because you’re just not religious enough. It isn’t because you don’t have enough faith. It isn’t because God is angry with you. To all the well-meaning people who tell you this, just smile. And know deep in your heart that the tests of God come in different forms to different people. And know that, by the help of God, every test can become a tool to get closer to Him. And that, verily, with hardship come ease–and like all things of this world–this too shall pass.

With each new heartbreak, I was forced to look deeper intowhy. I was forced to look deeper into why it hurt so much -- into what I was missing. I was searching. I was falling. I was learning.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Allah SWT sometimes like to delay the response when his servant asking HIM and calling out to HIM because Allah loves his servants to praise Him..because He loves them so much that He wants His name to be mentioned on their tongue more and more! And Allah sometimes delay the response bcoz if he knows that through that delaying you are rising in your levels in the Hereafter! Then Allah SWT wants you to come closer to Him! :)

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything& make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best& expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past& press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!

Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness. — Ibn al-Qayyim

inner strugles~ (i found the answer)

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